i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
