also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
