I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
