and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
