i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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