well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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