She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
