Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
