just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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