why didn't you poke me back
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
