Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
