Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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