addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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