Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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