I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
