Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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