My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
