Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
His nipple licking is glorious
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