Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
