I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
