If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
