I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
