Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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