The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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