I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
