Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
