If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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