Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Farmville is her only friend.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
