It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
