Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
