I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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