this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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