You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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