I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This show inspires me to have sex in space
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
