That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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