I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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