After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
