I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I have post one night stand depression
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
