he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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