4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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