and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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