its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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