Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
