I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
