WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
