I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
