Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
