So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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