I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
