The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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