My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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