Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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