Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
