so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
