A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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