"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
operation harelip BJ is a go
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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