we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
