Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
