i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
