hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
