YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
