is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We have started to decorate penises.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
