fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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