I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
