I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
