I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
